I'm not content. I can't get over that feeling no matter how I try. I want to be happy, I want to be cheerful. I want to be pleasant. I'm not right now.

Today I was supposed to be headed home for the weekend. I woke up at around 8, got breakfast, and sat down to work on homework cause my roommate was asleep and I didn't want to make a lot of noise packing. I have no classes on Friday and he does. Well he keeps on hitting the snooze button till the alarm gives up on waking him up. He ends up sleeping in till noon. I got lots of work done but not much packing. So once he is up I pack, and lo and behold I can't find my room key. I search everywhere. By 3:00 I still have not found it. My family call wondering where I am, I tell them I'm still in my room, tell them what's up. My mother get's frustrated with me for not having left yet. She thinks I can just up and leave without the key, and I was going to, going to leave a note for my roommate telling him to leave the room unlocked Sunday when I get back, but I get outside and it's snowing really hard and the main road is crawling along, not even moving at all really. So I'm stuck, and I still can't find my key, and I HAVE to go home cause my mother got me tickets to see this thing with my little sister. I love my little sister to pieces but I just... I wish the tickets were not bought, I wish my family was not expecting me home this weekend. I wish I could just shut myself away like some sort of hermit. I am going to drive home tomorrow but like, I'm spending a lot of money on gas lately with some big trips to visit friends, which believe me were worth it, and this will be too, but it's just a lot of money disappearing.

All that and I can't get off my butt to get certain things done.

So there is a group of people, and if you are taking the time to read a journal by me titled venting you're not in that group *hugs* that I used to converse with all the time. I've been checking out their pages and looking at their art, catching up, but I don't get anything back, or some of them that used to return that haven't. I mean, I haven't posted much really spectacular but it's all about on par with what I used to do. I think when I finish this journal I'm gonna go through my watch list and go check out the names of people who really stick in my mind, the people I used to talk with all the time, and see what they have done in my absence. If that does not get things going I don't know what will. I feel like I'm starting over. The people I'm talking with are the new watchers and they're great but there aren't many of them. In short, I'm kinda lonely and I'm not ashamed to say that the attention of a group of internet friends actually is enough to brighten my day.